Another first today, flying solo. It’s not my first time flying by myself but its the first time since losing my husband. Been 17 years since I last flew solo. Heading off to Iowa to meet a part of the family for the first time. This trip was so overdue, we talked about going so many times. With it brings so many emotions. The tears are so close to the surface, the slightest thing can set them flowing. As I walked through security and out into the terminal for the first time, it hits me. This is it. The first flight without him. Sadness and regret mix together and threaten to spill out. I remind myself we are not going to cry in the airport. The first thing I notice is that the Starbucks has been replaced by a Pete’s Coffee. When did that happen? Not happy.
I board the plane and take my seat. For my first solo flight, I treated myself to first class. As I sit and wait for the rest of the plane to board, drinking my coffee, I can’t help but remember another time we flew first class. A trip down Dallas to visit friends. Seat assignment got mixed up, and they had him seated behind me instead of next to me. I hadn’t paid attention, and he just naturally sat next to me. When the woman who had that seat arrived, she and the flight attendant came over very suspicious that we did not belong. Once I could prove that he was still in 1st class but just the wrong row, the woman offered to trade so we could sit with each other. The flight attendant maintained an attitude the whole flight.
They have turned the lights down, and under the cover of darkness, my watery eyes can go unnoticed. I just let it sink in, I’m sorry you aren’t here with me. I’m pushing on though and so proud of myself. Lansing, here I come.
