“I gazed down at her and wondered how something so magnificent could have come from something so horrible.”
Martina Monroe is a Private Investigator who is trying to get her life back on track after a drunken car crash that nearly ruined her life. Now sober and determined to stay that way, her boss has finally entrusted her with a real case. The client, an old acquaintance from high school, found a picture in her late mother’s things of her mom and a baby she doesn’t recognize. It’s not her and her dad won’t talk about it. She wants Martina to try and find out who the baby is.
“I would do everything in my power to make sure I found this baby, even if it meant returning to my hometown, something I hadn’t ever planned to do.”
Another first today, flying solo. It’s not my first time flying by myself but its the first time since losing my husband. Been 17 years since I last flew solo. Heading off to Iowa to meet a part of the family for the first time. This trip was so overdue, we talked about going so many times. With it brings so many emotions. The tears are so close to the surface, the slightest thing can set them flowing. As I walked through security and out into the terminal for the first time, it hits me. This is it. The first flight without him. Sadness and regret mix together and threaten to spill out. I remind myself we are not going to cry in the airport. The first thing I notice is that the Starbucks has been replaced by a Pete’s Coffee. When did that happen? Not happy.
I board the plane and take my seat. For my first solo flight, I treated myself to first class. As I sit and wait for the rest of the plane to board, drinking my coffee, I can’t help but remember another time we flew first class. A trip down Dallas to visit friends. Seat assignment got mixed up, and they had him seated behind me instead of next to me. I hadn’t paid attention, and he just naturally sat next to me. When the woman who had that seat arrived, she and the flight attendant came over very suspicious that we did not belong. Once I could prove that he was still in 1st class but just the wrong row, the woman offered to trade so we could sit with each other. The flight attendant maintained an attitude the whole flight.
They have turned the lights down, and under the cover of darkness, my watery eyes can go unnoticed. I just let it sink in, I’m sorry you aren’t here with me. I’m pushing on though and so proud of myself. Lansing, here I come.
It’s been a long time since I posted here. 2023 was a busy/hard year for my household. In previous posts, I had explained that my husband and I had started a new business for breeding reptiles, Wild Roots Reptiles. This quickly took up the majority of my time and did not leave any extra for reading, posting, or even having much of a life at all.
As the year carried on, mental health took a hard decline for my husband, which also affected mine as well. Somewhere along the road, I lost my best friend to depression and alcohol and I never got him back. In December, he took his life; transferring his pain and suffering over to me. Something I knew he would have never wanted to do if he could have avoided it. I accepted it with a shattered heart.
Widowhood is a life that I would never wish on anyone. It’s a struggle that you were never prepared for, and there’s no manual on how to work through the Rollercoaster of emotions or how to keep moving forward. But I found in myself a strength I never knew was there and a determination to find joy again. Somehow… someway… finding my new normal.
And so began my Living Life tour.
I began taking myself to dinner and buying my own flowers. I started having girls night every other month and even hosted a poker night. I started on a sleave tattoo, went to a rock concert, a classic car show, and even a couple quick road trips to Montana. I have spent a lot of time with my family and friends who have been there for me through this entire time. Grief takes a village to navigate and you never get through it, you just learn to absorb it into your life. It becomes a part of you.
After a few months, I began cooking and reading books again. Soon, I hope to start writing reviews and posting. Starting here with this one.
Life is still hard, having to manage a household by yourself. I have had to sell off a large portion of the animals, as difficult as that decision was, but I still want to keep Wild Roots going in some capacity. Have had to learn how to fix things myself and ask for help when I can’t. That’s harder to do, I think.
Month after month, I learn more about who I am and what I’m made of. I have slowly put the pieces of my shattered heart back together. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have days that bring me to knees, but I make the choice to stand back up every time. I am eternally grateful for the life and love I had with him for so many years. I will never forget my past but I have a future, one that I am looking forward to, and I will give it my all to make it the best I can.
For anyone that feels like they are alone and don’t think they can keep going, please stay. You are needed here. I know that it feels hopeless and that no one could possibly understand what you are going through, but you would be surprised by how many of us are out there and how many people are more than willing to listen. We have so many options available now, don’t be afraid to speak up and ask for help.
I dont know about you and your family, but when we make a Brisket, we have a ton of leftovers. I hate eating the same thing over and over again so finding variety is key. These tacos are a great usuage for some leftover Brisket meat. I will highlight making the Brisket the next time I make it. I still had a couple chunks in my freezer to use up first. In the meantime, check out Traeger’s Beginner Brisket recipe.
In a crock pot, I put my chunk of brisket meat, about 1-2 pounds. To that I add about half a cup of beef broth. Low and slow on this one, I set the Crock pot on Low and cook for 7-8 hours. You want to break down all the fibers until it just falls apart.
At the end of the cooking time, take a couple tongs and shred the beef. It should just fall apart. Let is sit and soak up all the juice. Pull out any large pieces of fat that didn’t break down during cooking.
Now that the meat is ready, assemble the taco or burrito, whatever you prefer. I always prefer corn shells. A little oil in a pan, and I lightly brown my shells on both sides. The hubs wanted a big cheezy burrito in a flour tortilla.
I topped mine with shredded cheddar jack cheese. I thinly diced red onions, fresh tomatoes, lettuce and cilantro. A squeeze of lime juice. Definitely some of my favorite tacos.
Slow Cooker Sundays are definitely one of my favorites. This was one of the easiest meals to make and it was sooo good! Felt more like lazy Sunday, but isnt that what Sunday’s are for?
Only a couple changes on this one. I did not use bone in pork chops, I only had pork loin chops in my freezer so that was what I was using. Bone in would have been amazing though!!! I do not use low sodium anything, I already had to give up enough with my food, I have to draw a line somewhere. My pork chops were even a touch frozen in the middle still but that doesn’t matter, the beauty of slow cooking.
Total fix it and forget it, which is beautiful for a lazy day or even busy days when you dont have time. I try real hard to NOT be busy on Sunday.
I set my Crock pot on Low for 6 hours. Half way through cooking, I added about a pound of new potatoes, halved, in with the pork. I used a mix of red and yellow potatoes.
At the end of the time, I literally just put it on a plate. The gravy needed nothing added and was the perfect thickness. To finish the dish off, I added some steamed broccoli. I use my rice cooker and it steams veggies like a dream. I dont think there is an easier meal to make. Enjoy!
Winter has arrived in North Idaho, we had our first real snowfall. You know what that means, Soup, Soup, Soup. Nothing like a hot bowl of soup on a cold and wintery night. This Soup Saturday had me trying one of my favorite soups but I have never tried to make it from scratch before. Here goes nothing!
For my first attempt at this yummy soup I chose French Onion Soup by the Cozy Cook. What caught my attention on this one was she used Gruyere cheese on baguettes, feels fancy.
I followed this recipe to the letter. I had no substitutions or alterations. For the wine I used Free Reign Pinot Grigio. It has a crisp apple, fruity taste with a dry finish. The Gruyere I got from Imperfect Foods. Its flavor and texture are very similar to Provolone.
This has sooo many onions. It takes a long time to break all these down. I definitely stirred more than every 10-15 minutes. I have a stirring compulsion, I cant help it. I dont feel that my over stirring caused any browning issues however. It’s such a slow process on this one.
In making the cheesy baguettes, I did not brown them as much as she did. I like mine on the soft cheesy side.
Overall this was a success. It was full of flavor, great beefy broth. It turned out a bit too sweet for my taste though. Next time, I would not add the 2 sweet onions and just use maybe half of one and the remaining all yellow instead and I think the wine was too sweet too. I would use a Chardonnay instead. I loved the cheesy baguettes on it, probably my favorite part of this dinner, especially when they soaked up the yummy broth.
This casserole was fantastic! A perfect comfort meal, just the kind that I love to have on cold nights, eating dinner in bed. This should have been a fairly easy meal to make however I ran into a few snafus but just keep swimming. It may have been way later than planned but damnit it was getting made!
For the chicken, I roasted a boneless, skinless breast on the Traeger a couple hours before. I seasoned the chicken with salt, pepper, Traeger Anything Rub, and Smoked Paprika on both sides. (I love Smoked Paprika on chicken! It gives it a wonderful smokey flavor.) Placed that in a small glass dish and put about half a cup of chicken stock in the dish. I used Better Than Bouillion Chicken Base and mixed about a TBSP into hot water. Topped with a TBSP of butter, in this instance I used Country Crock Plant Butter with Avocado Oil. I set the Midnight Meat Train at 425 degrees and roasted it for about 45 minutes, until the top is golden browned. I left the chicken in the stock and set it aside to cool. Once cooled, I shredded the whole thing. You could just chop it too but I prefer shredded. I poured the left over chicken stock in a storage container and put in the fridge for later use. Never let good stock go to waste!
While I was cooking the chicken on the Traeger, I threw a few pieces of bacon on there too. Cooked these about 8 minutes a side, until they were nice and crispy and almost all the fat was cooked off. I set these aside to cool as well. Once cooled, I roughly chopped into bits.
Once it was time to get cooking, I picked bionaturae Gluten Free Rice & Lentil Penne Rigate Pasta for this one. It says there is no soy, starch, or gums. I like these because the texture is good, they hold up to handling after cooked and dont fall apart, and they dont have any weird after taste. I cook these to al dente as the recipe directs.
For the vegetables, I did the purple/red onion, canned diced tomatoes and fresh spinach but I left out the green pepper. We both have a sensitivity to them, they cause hellacious heartburn, so unless they are a key ingredient to the dish, I either leave them out or I will substitute with a pablano. I’m also not suppose to eat chicken, but I dont listen to that one as much as I should because I love it so much.
Okay, so now on to the sauce and this is where I ran into my issues. I got my mozzarella cheese out and when I opened it up, I immediately noticed that it was bad, the smell hit me first. I think to myself, no worries, I have more in the freezer. I will just take enough for what I need and the warm milk will melt it, no biggy. So, I bang it on the counter a bit to break it up and then just dumpped what I needed into my milk. Well…. the top of that cheese was moldy too, which is now in my milk. I have frozen moldy cheese just glaring at me in my pan. Fuck. Thankfully, it was still frozen because I did not have any more evaporated milk on hand. I strained the milk and removed all the cheese, moldy pieces and all. Now, I need to figure out what to use, I grab the shredded Cheddar Jack cheese I had in the fridge. I figured it was pretty close, its a mix of mild cheddar and monterey jack cheese, so it has a mild, soft cheese flavor and texture to it. A solid substitute I felt.
I followed the recipe the rest of the way through, topping it all off with a little pepperjack cheese to add a nice bite to it. I did not add the cheddar to the top since I used the cheddar jack in the sauce. Even with all the malfunctions with the cheese sauce it still came out amazing! The Cheddar Jack was a great alternative, next time I will try it with the mozzarella and see which one I like like best.
Overall, very cheesy, with the tang from the ranch dressing and the bite from the pepperjack, the flavors were popping. So good! A perfect hearty cassole meal. It does take a bit of pre-planning unless you already have some cooked chicken you need to use up or if you pick up a rotisserie. It is definitely going in my favorite casserole dish list. Its even just as good reheated the next day!
Whatever Wednesday had me trying out some new steaks from Imperfect and a new recipe for oven roasted baby potatoes. Both were successes and made for an excellent meal!
Lets start with the potatoes, as these take longer than the steak to cook so you would need to start these first. OVEN ROASTED HERB AND GARLIC PARMESAN POTATOES by Mom on Timeout. Now she grows her own Yukon potatoes which she used for this and even though I live in Idaho, I do not grow my own potatoes so I used new pototes that I buy at Costco. Any little, baby or new potatoes will work for this, mine is a mix of both Yukon and Red. They were even a little soft but that did not effect it at all so this is a good recipe to use when you have some older potatoes you need to use up.
Fresh herbs are definitely a must for this one too, it makes a huge difference. I have actually started buying the little containers of herbs like Rosemary and Thyme and then freezing what I don’t use. When I need them again, I just pull them out that morning or at least a couple hours before to thaw. Maybe one day I will grow my own and just have fresh herbs on hand at all times.
These turned out to be the best roasted halved potatoes I have ever made, the hubs agrees. They were nice and browned, crispy on the outside with creamy middles. Just perfect!
While the potatoes were roasting, its time for the steaks. Now, I had seasoned these earlier in the day, and put them uncovered in the fridge to dry out a little. This isn’t necessary but it does help with browning. For my seasoning, I used Traeger Anything Rub, Killer Hogs The A.P., and Killer Hogs TX Brisket Rub. The Anything Rub is a mix of salt, pepper, garlic, onion, jalapeno, and lime. The A.P. is an all purpose seasoning, good for literally anything, mix of salt, black and red pepper, garlic, and coriander. The TX Brisket Rub I love to use on beef, its a mix of salt, garlic, onion, and pasley. You can get all these seasonings at Amazon or Walmart.com if you cant find them at your local store. Be careful not to be too heavy handed when using all 3 because they all include salt.
I grilled these steaks at 425 degrees for about 5 minutes a side. They were thinner so this cooked them to a Medium doneness. Let rest for at least 10 minutes.
To finish the dish off, I added just a simple salad of Spring Mix with croutons and feta crumbles, topped with an Italian dressing. This was a super simple, easy meal to make, less than 30 minutes, and it was amazing! Definitely one to satisfy any meat & pototes man, like mine! Enjoy!
I had planned on making Brisket tacos for Taco Tuesday this week, however I still had some Pot Roast left over in my fridge from Sunday’s dinner, so I changed it up. Using up left overs is my number goal. Oh man, were they good too!
I literally just took the meat and sauce I had left over and put it in a pot on the stove to reheat. Once the meat had warmed back up a bit, I took my tongs and pulled it apart until it was all shredded. I cooked it down until all the sauce was absorbed but the meat was still nice and saucy.
I used my white corn torillas for these, and I like to brown them a little to bring out the flavor and it crisps them a bit. too For this, I just put a tiny bit of oil in a pan on medium high heat and sauted them for a few minutes per side, just until they start to brown. I also had a couple left over Grain Free Hard Shell Tacos from a previous Taco Tuesday, so I made a couple “double decker” tacos. I took the soft shell, spread shredded cheese all around it, melted the cheese, and then wrapped it around the hard shell. These hard shells have great flavor but they are very delicate, so they break really easy. Hard to eat on their own but perfect to make the double decker tacos with because the soft shell hold them together.
Now that the shells are ready, it was time to assemble. I layered the meat in first, then spooned some warm Queso Blanco dip on top. The store didn’t have regular Queso Blanco or Queso Fresco cheese so I had to improvise. You cant let the little things derail you! Then I added red onions, diced tomatoes, cilantro, and shredded lettuce. Finally topping it all off with a little salsa. I perfer a chunky mild salsa.
End Result was fabulous! I love tacos! Very beefy flavor and I actually really liked the Queso dip on it, so that was a happy accident. I did not add any other cheese to these and I think next time I will. You can never have too much cheese, lol.
Meatless Monday this week had me trying out a couple new products. First and most importantly, Crispy Jack Patties from jack & annie’s. These are breaded patties made from jackfruit to be an alternative to chicken. I picked these up from Imperfect Foods. My local supermarket didn’t have my normal GF hamburger buns so I had to try a different brand, Ener-G.
For the jack patties, I chose to grill them on my Traeger, which I have named the Midnight Meat Train. Per the directions on the box, you keep them frozen until time to cook. I set the grill to 425 degrees and cooked for 10 minutes on each side. I then add my cheese while they’re still on the grill. I wanted to go with a spicy flair so added a slice of Pepperjack cheese with American. Leave on only long enough to melt the cheese, otherwise too long and it will melt completely off, speaking from experience.
While the patties were grilling, I through some frozen seasoned fries in my airfryer. They usually take about 10-13 minutes, in the rotating basket. I find this gets them the most crispy.
I perfer to toast my buns a little too. I only like to toast the inside, leaving the outside soft and fluffy still. I used to put them on the grill but they would go from soft to burnt in the blink of an eye. Just like making smores, you turn away for a second and its on fire, lol. So, I just spead a tiny bit of butter and put them inside down in a frying pan just until browned.
Sliced up some tomatoes and lettuce and topped with my fav vegan soy free mayo. Added the fries and a little fry sauce and it was off the dinner table, aka my bed, to dig in.
I am very happy to report that I was extremely satisfied! Who knew jackfruit made such a tasty alternative to meat, lol. I dont know if I would say that they taste like “chicken” but they were good non the less. The texture was that of breaded chicken nuggets. The pepperjack added the perfect amount of kick. The GF bun was not as good as my normal brand but they were still a hell of a lot better than those frozen pucks most places sell. With most glutten free breads, my biggest complaint is the density, like a brick, a bad brand will be so grainy from the rice flour too. These were a little dense for my liking but did not have that grainess. I used just your average pub bun for the hubs sandwhich, we perfer Seattle International Baking Company Sourdough Pub Buns. He declined the GF bun, can’t say that I blame him. I am just thrilled I got him to go along with no meat on Mondays, my “meat and pototes Montana man”. He is such a trooper, always open to being my culinary guinnea pig. I will say though that he loved this sandwhich! Definitely would make these again!
